Warm Mug of Cud (venti, no whip)

If a cow placed an order at Starbucks she would probably ask for cud. Somehow and in someway the fine people at Starbucks would oblige their new customer. Not only would they charge the cow $4.95, whether she wanted whipped cream or not, they would make the beverage so delicious the cow would want to come back and order another one every day.

I have recently discovered that referring to maternity pants as 'clown trousers' is not any funnier in a second pregnancy than it was in the first.

I, like most intellegent, thoughful human beings, have numerous issues with the giant-mega-super-corporation known as Wal-Mart. I don't know why they think it is okay to sell guns but not the magazine Cosmopolitan. Sure, Cosmo has pictures of scantily clad women, often on the cover. But if the people who run the Evil Blue Empire want to put a stop to indecent exposure they need to have a required dress code for its customers. I know it has been really, really hot lately but is that any reason to go grocery shopping in a bikini? I guess I wouldn't complain if Jessica Simpson wanted to rummage through some fresh produce in her favorite two-piece. But most of the women wearing a swimsuit in Wal-Mart have very little in common with Jessica. Just picture your most hated former grade school teacher walking around in a cherry-red thong carrying a five gallon jug of pickles. That's indecent!

In a recent discussion it was mentioned that men generally are not as good with children because men are not as nurturing as women. If you believe that then you must also concur that women do not make good business executives because they are not as smart as men. Remember, a man needs a woman like a fish needs a bicycle.

Earlier this evening Chick pointed out an interesting bit of information that she came across in one of those magazines about being a better parent. (Actually they are only about being a better mother which is why I no longer read them.) She told me that one of the newest things to do is put sonogram pictures on cookies. I guess the technology has been around for a while to put edible photographs on cakes. So why not a fetus on a cookie? I'll tell you why - it's disgusting. It would be like eating an unborn child which currently reminds me of a few sophomoric 'grosser than gross' jokes. Trust me, don't put sonogram pictures on food. However, if you could somehow get the picture on the whipped cream of a Banana-Caramel Frappuccino, that would be okay. Venti, of course.