Ebenezer Scrooge
- prescription for Lunesta
Frosty the Snowman
- 1 gallon of sunscreen - SPF 220
The Little Drummer Boy
- a good bassist and guitarist to complete a hard rock power trio
Joseph the Carpenter
- membership in Travelocity.com
The Grinch
- a high-powered rifle with a scope (that will stop the singing)
Bonet the Christmas Pig
- rings of pineapple and a honey glaze
Hermey, the 'dentist' elf
- track lighting and anything Prada
The Three Wise Men
- three loose women and a bottle of Jack Daniels
The Partridge in a pear tree
- any food that does not consist of pears
Tiny Tim
- a candy cane
Yukon Cornelius
- a weekend in Amsterdam
Santa
- A GPS navigation system so he can put Rudolph back in his place
Maurice the Christmas Donkey
- ribbon candy - lots of ribbon candy
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