ScanTron Quiz

Answer the following questions by writing down the most appropiate response on a piece of paper you may have nearby. You do not need to use a No. 2 pencil and there are no circles to fill in completely. Good luck.

1) Which of the Beatles was the most important?
a) John
b) Paul
c) George
d) Ringo

2) Who was the best President of the United States?
a) George Washington
b) Abraham Lincoln
c) Theodore Roosevelt
d) Franklin Roosevelt

3) Who best portrayed Catwoman?
a) Eartha Kitt
b) Lee Meriwether
c) Michelle Pfeiffer
d) Halle Berry

4) What is the cutest thing a baby does?
a) Smile
b) Blow Bubbles
c) Hold your finger
d) Yawn

5) Who will win the Circling Buzzards Death Pool?
a) Greg
b) Dave
c) Izzy
d) Jim

6) Which book should be banned?
a) The Origin of Species
b) Das Kapital
c) Catcher in the Rye
d) On The Road

7) What is your favorite color?
a) Blue
b) Yellow
c) Green
d) Red


Answers:

1) All of the Beatles were equally important to the makeup of the band. Yes, Ringo and George were just as crucial as John and Paul. Don't think so? Ask Pete Best - he's the guy Ringo replaced. You get a point as long as you agree that Yoko broke up the band.

2) Although so-called historians continually release rankings for all of the men who have served as President, is there really a need for a number one? This isn't college football, and they can't figure that out either. The four men listed here were all extremely important to the shaping of our country. You get a point as long as you weren't expecting to see Ronald Reagan on the list.

3) All of the actresses that played Catwoman were hot. If you had a chance to spend the night with any of them you should do it. Batman did. Besides, Catwoman has to be taken for what she is - a super criminal whose only ability is to throw Batman off of his game by giving him a chub. Give yourself a point if you have not seen the movie Catwoman featuring Halle Berry.

4) Everything a baby does is cute. Well, almost everything. I guess I could do with out the dirty diapers, spit-up and 100 decibal screams but the good outweighs the bad. Give yourself a point if you held a baby today.

5) It's a close race in this year's death pool. But it's really impossible to tell who may win. Sure some people are older and sicker than others but there is no way of figuring out who's going to actually die. Of course, three of the top four picks aren't with us anymore. Give yourself a point if you visit the Circling Buzzards.

6) Banning books! Are you serious!?!? There is no banning of books, I don't care what they say. As an intellgent society we read books, discuss them rationally and agree to disagree. Hitler banned books. Chairman Mao banned books. Saddam Hussein banned books. You want to hook up with those guys? Give yourself a point if you were completely outraged at the thought of banning a book.

7) Hopefully your favorite color isn't listed here. But why are you wasting your time reading a ridiculous Blog when you could be watching a Monty Python movie? Give yourself a point if you picked blue, no yellow - aaaaaaaaaagh!

You can add up your score if you like but the only way to get a passing grade on this test was to skip the questions and follow the ABACAB or ACDC answer scheme.