It hasn't been that long

Mentally I have placed many entries into the Garden over the past three or four weeks. Unfortunately I never quite got around to putting the ideas into the blog. I have a million excuses as to why the Garden has gone attended for such a long time, but I don't think they are all totally necessary. So, without further ado.....

The baseball season has begun. I only have three fantasy baseball teams this year, The Playground Wedgies, Grove City Mo and the Screaming Octopi. I like all my teams but it's only the first week of the season. And much like life, anything could happen. I am still writing for GetSportsInfo.com. My season long assignment will be posted on Sundays and titles Points to Ponder. I have no idea what it will consist of, but you may want to check it out once in a while.

On local radio today there was some discussion regarding the price of gasoline. Yeah, no one wants to pay more than $2.50 per gallon for fuel. Especially when gas only cost about 20 cents in Iraq! How does that make sense? But the conversation reminded me of a guy I met a few years ago that asked me if I knew what the most expensive liquid in the world was. As I responded in the negative he held up a bottle of Visine. "This bottle cost me $3.49 and it only has 1 ounce in it. That's almost 450 bucks a gallon!"
Here are a few other items that you may never want to think about again. A six ounce tube of Aim Toothpaste, with Tartar Control, costs $1.49 - that's 31.79 a gallon. Nail Polish seems to cost anywhere from $5 to $20 and maybe more. A typical bottle holds about .3 to .5 ounces of polish. To make it easy, a big bottle of the cheap stuff costs $1280 per gallon. Yes, over one thousand dollars for a gallon of bad nail polish. (It's a good thing remover only costs about $21 per gallon.) And my personal worse scenario involves alcohol. If you pay $6 for a 16oz. beer at the ballpark, you are paying $48 a gallon. Of course beer will get you to where you are going just as easily as gasoline.

...a few hours later...

Writing is a very strange thing. I don't just mean that the things I write about are strange, but the periods I go through are very unusual. I know that I have not written well lately. This piece may seem normal to you, but I am struggling mightily. The articles I have submitted of late have not been crisp. And on top of that I haven't read a book yet this year. (Reading good literature and writing well are inseperable for me.) Obviously a lot has to do with the schedule that I have been trying to keep lately. But utlimately, my writing comes and goes in spurts. And although I am trying to create a spurt, these things have to occur on their own. So bear with me.

I have done my best to keep up the Circling Buzzards blog. What's that you ask? You know, the site where we keep track of the death pool. I have dropped to third place thanks to the Pope. All along I was just hoping he would hang on until his birthday. That would mean one less point for his death. I still think I have a good chance of winning the whole thing if Chief Justice Rhenquist ever bites it. That may seem morbid, but did you see him at the inauguration? He's not going to make it much longer.

I miss Chick. She is now living in our new house while I man the old one - still working on selling the damn thing. But I don't just miss Chick; amazingly I miss our entire zoo. Last night I woke up to use the potty and I found myself making sure not to step on any animals. It was a surreal scene as I high stepped it to the bathroom only to finally realize that there weren't any dogs lying on the floor. Maybe I just miss stepping on tails.

Yes, I just used the word 'potty' in that paragraph. Again, I am not writing well.

Here's a few random thoughts:

Michael Jackson should be in jail.

No one deserves to win American Idol. I wacthed last night for the first time in my life. They all suck.

One million people in line to see a dead Pope need to get a life.

Baseball is much better than steroids, millionaire superstars, and high prices at the concession stands. If you don't believe me, ask Sean Casey.

I now refuse to eat at Chipotle's because I don't like their commercials.

If I have been carded three time in the last week for buying beer, does it mean that I should be happy that I don't look my age or does it mean I drink too much?

The best talk show on television is "Alf's Hit Talk Show!" on TV Land. If you haven't seen it, look for it - it's hilarious.



(That's just a pick-me-up for a friend who needs it.)