A Few Questions

1) If Chris Rock would have been allowed to drop the F-Bomb a few times during the Oscars, do you think the ratings would have gone up or down?

2) If John Chaney was on steroids do you think he would be allowed to join the PBA tour?

3) Was Olive Oyl really good looking or were Popeye and Bluto just out to sea way too long?

4) If Fred Savage cut Doogie Howser with a Bowie knife during a fight in a Wal-Mart parking lot, would the world's largest retailer finally pay female employees more than minimum wage?

5) If Train A left Newark at 9:35 AM, EDT, and Train B left San Antonio at 7:35, CDT, and the two trains crashed in Alabama but no one was around to hear the explosion, did it still make a noise?

6) What's the Capital of Assyria?

7) Why doesn't the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue have men in thongs? Or Cows in bermuda shorts? Or Koala Bears in lingerie?

8) If Michael Jackson were sentenced to life in prison, do you think he would be able to find a good job in the cafeteria tossing salad?

9) Why isn't Michael Jackson in prison?

10) Do you think you have had as many beers as I have tonight?

11) Did you know that a) if the NHL folds its final champion will be the Tampa Bay Lightning and b) that the fact there is hockey in Tampa Bay is the problem with the NHL?

12) What was the last song you heard before reading this crap?

13) Did you know that in Georgia it's illegal to have sex with the lights on?

14) While Prince Charming was a frog did he eat Spanish Flies?

15) Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor and Ariel Sharon have the same birth date?

BONUS QUESTION: If you anwered any of the above questions correctly, you should:
a) Check yourself into the nearest mental hospital
b) Increase your life insurance premium
c) Go buy a pet Goldfish
d) Stop going on picnics with bow-legged women
e) Some of the above