Church

Here it is, Sunday night. Did everyone go to church today? I'm celebrating my only little mass right now. I know I haven't written anything in quite a while so I'm just going to push through this. It's like telling the priest the last time you went to confession was when your teacher forced you to go in the eighth grade. Just make something up and go with it. So here it is.

The world, of course, is coming to an end. We have just set the record for the most hurricanes in one season. (WE?) There have been major earthquakes around the globe. As well as a few typhoons. And it's snowing in Kenya. Okay, I made that up. But we are very naive to think that we understand anything about this planet. It has been around for 4.5 billion years. We have been keeping track of the weather for a few hundred of them. And we really haven't even done a good job at that.

And if there was a major asteroid heading towards our planet, wouldn't you just assume the governement or whoever didn't tell us? Unless of course Bruce Willis can save us.

Which version of "Little Wing" do you prefer? Jimi Hendrix? Stevie Ray Vaugh? Sting?

I really don't want to get into politics in the Garden, but I swear Tom Delay once tried to sell me a used car. I was just walking through Dallas, minding my own business and he came up to me shouting about a deal bigger than Texas. He was going to put me into a 1995 Ford Taurus for just $3995. And it had low mileage. When I told him that I already had a car he tried to sell me insurance on it. Maybe it wasn't actually Tom Delay, but it looked a lot like him.

If I told you I was going to post a new entry every day this week, would you come back? What if I promised not to include pitcures of Gumball Machines? Or, what if I promised to include better pictures of gumball machines? Imagine the different things you could buy from a gumball machine. Hershey Bars. Filet Mignon. Carrots. Mice. Calculators. Light bulbs. Gold teeth. Wigs. Deodorant. Pantaloons. Facial Tissues. Self esteem.

The wives in my neighborhood are desperate and they look like it. But they don't look like Desperate Housewives.

I am most disappointed in myself for not continuing to update Circling Buzzards. On their birthday I try to present a little bio for the people we have chosen to die. This month I've missed Margaret Thatcher and Lee Iacocca. I just noticed that Scott Peterson turns 33 on Monday. I think I'll skip that low-life son of a bitch too.

Well that's it for the Garden tonight. I know some of you are disappointed by the lack of plantings in the Garden. But remember that all we have here is weeds.