Eel Pie

I doubt that I will ever be as brilliant as those lucky few who write for The Simpsons. Seriously, take a look at everything that I have created in this garden and tell me that any of it is worthy of The Simpsons. Okay, maybe the god taking a crap/cancer thing but Groenig would have thought of that eventually.

Homer: Has science ever kissed a woman? Or won the Superbowl? Or put a man on the moon?

Creativity is a strange thing. In many ways I'm more creative than almost anyone I know. But then, there are a handful of people that are so much more creative than I am that it make me feel like a stooge.

Marge: Bart what are you doing?
Bart: Taking a whizz.
Marge: Stop that, we're guests in Mr. Burns.

I have been able to determine recently that I write best in the morning, sober. I shouldn't have to emphasize the word 'sober' when referring to my mornings, but many of you reading this know me well enough to question the concept. Anyway, I actually write a lot of what is found in the Dandelion Garden late in the evening after a few drinks. So, in essence I would say that you aren't getting my best writing. I would write more in the morning if I didn't have to go to work. Someone tell Chick to get a raise.

Homer: I need a mouth hole. And some other holes too.

Looking back through the Garden I would have to admit that 22 Thousand Words on My Mind Today is probably the best thing that I put together. I am very proud of Crapper Material. But Two Days in Bombay probably ranks ahead of it. I don't really care what most of you reading this actually think of each article. But it wouldn't be bad to hear what article may have had an affect on you. They've all affected me.