Life is a Holiday

I don't check my voicemail very often. I look at my email 20 to 30 times a day. But I don't check voicemail until there are at least three messages. I live on the concept that if the call is really important, he or she will call back. Anyway, I checked my voicemail this morning. One of the messages was from a friend informing me that Saturday was National Work Naked in Your Garden Day. (This is why I don't check my voice mail very often.) I sent him an email response this morning letting him know that I was sorry I missed his call - I was out in the garden wearing nothing but gloves, kneepads and a large brimmed hat. I hope he still has the visual.

The truth is, we don't really have a garden in our yard. We plan on having one but just have not gotten around to it. The closest thing I have to a garden is, well, this blog. So I may be a few days late, but, hold on, let me unzip my pants.......and my shirt.......now the boxers.......there. I am officially working in my garden naked. I just wish there was a more comfortable seat in this garden. This kitchen chair is cold. Very cold.

It should surprise no one that there actually is a Work in Your Garden Naked Day. There is pretty much a 'Day' or holiday for everything. Blame it on greeting card companies. Or florists. Or religion. Maybe some of the blame needs to go to people who sit around with nothing better to do but to make up holidays. (Play Ball!)

I am suddenly reminded of the trick question regarding whether or not they have a Fourth of July in Canada. Of course they do. You think Canadiens just go from the third to the fifth? It is just not their Independence Day. That is July 1. Except in Quebec where they are still seeking independence.

The next significant holiday may very well be the most important - Mother's Day. This is one you just don't want to screw up. Most men need two gifts - one for your Mom and one for your wife. They don't even have to be great gifts, but you have to have something. I was scanning the newspaper yesterday and something caught my eye in the advice columns. There was a guy who wanted to know whether or not he needed to get his wife a gift for Mother's Day. The woman is actually his second wife and although she has children from a previous marriage, they don't have any kids together. So he doesn't think he needs to get her anything. I didn't need to read the response. I know it - you're not only cheap you're a dumbass. And you'll be sleeping on the couch Sunday night.