“Yeah Frank. It should be a good Christmas.”
Bill and Frank are about six inches apart, hanging just below the midpoint of the tree. Bill is a silver fish with green fins and gold trim. His hook comes right out of his dorsal fin. Frank is a snowman – or at least the head of a snowman. He has a red hat, a blue scarf and a gold pipe. Many people would like to think Frank should be called Frosty. But there are eight or nine snowpeople on this tree and they all have their own names. Calling them Frosty is like calling your waitress ‘darling.’
“So Bill how was your hibernation? I was stuck near the Peanuts gang and that damn Lucy didn’t shut up the whole eleven months.”
“I know what you mean. A few years back I was packed next to a goose with a French horn. But this past time I had it real nice. I was all wrapped up in tissue paper and didn’t hear a peep from anyone. I’m pretty sure I was sitting at the top of the box too. It was real comfy and cozy.”
“Wow that sounds nice. Hey! Did you notice we’re still on the front of the tree?”
It’s a known tradition, almost a law really, that only the best of the ornaments get to hang on the front of the tree. The back, or the ‘Ghetto’ as the ornaments liked to call it, is reserved for decorations that are old or broken. Or maybe the ones that were ugly to begin with and never really deserved to be in front. And the ornaments that your crazy great-aunt made at the Senior Center – they go in the Ghetto too. Like the goose with the French horn.
“Yeah, we sure are lucky Bill. But I think times are changing. Did you see who’s hangin’ right above you? Wolverine!”
“Oh come on Frank. He’s not so bad. And he cleans up pretty well for a mutant.”
“But it’s just a bigger part of the problem. You’re a fish, I’m a snowman, there are 12 different Santa’s and I don’t know how many Snoopy’s. But that’s all Christmas stuff. What does a comic book character have to do with the birth of Christ? Besides I bet there isn’t even an Angel at the top of the tree again.”
“Are we going to have that same argument again Frank. Do I have to remind you that there was no Angel in Bethlehem when Jesus was born. At least not according to the Bible. Remember, the Angel Gabriel was only there for the good part – you know, with Mary.”
“Just stop right there Bill. I don’t want to hear any more. There just needs to be an Angel on the top of the tree. It’s tradition.”
“Well Frank maybe there is. Let’s ask around to find out if anyone can see the top. Junior is just above your head there. I'll see what he knows.”
“Oooh, which one, Ripken or Griffey?”
“It looks like Cal – I'll get you an autograph.”
Cal Ripken Jr. is one of the larger ornaments on the tree. He’s about six inches tall and in a pose like he just threw a baseball. He’s wearing his home (white) Orioles uniform.
“Hey Ripken! It’s me Bill! The Fish! Hey do you know if there’s an Angel at the top of the tree this year?”
“I haven’t seen the top. But I’ve been hanging on this tree for 14 years and I haven’t missed a day. And there’s never been an Angel on top. But I’ll ask around for you. Hey Charlie Brown. Yeah, you makin’ the snowman. Can you see what’s on top of the tree?"
Charlie Brown may be the second most popular ornament on the tree. His dog, of course, ranks first. At last count there was no fewer than five Charlie Brown ornaments on this tree. And a few more still in the box. This particular Charlie Brown is making a snowman that looks a lot like himself – a bald head and a goofy grin.
“Oh Good Grief. Well…I…um…I…uh…I…I’m not sure.”
“Well do think you could ask somebody that might be sure. Like that penguin over there.”
“Okay Mr. Ripken. I…um…I’ll ask him. Excuse Mr. Penguin. Can you tell me what’s on top of our Christmas Tree?”
Traditionally there is no reason as to why penguins would be on a Christmas tree. But this tree has a few. Penguins of course live in cold environments like the North Pole so it must be an easy association. These Penguins don’t mind living on a tree – it’s better than being eaten by a polar bear.
“Well I cannot see for myself. There is a large Christmas pickle in my view. Actually, I don’t believe it to be a pickle at all. I really think it is a cucumber pretending to be a Christmas pickle. And that is not at all good.”
“Oh Good Grief. Well…Mr. Penguin…do you think maybe you could ask someone else what’s on top of the Christmas Tree?”
“I suppose so. Hello there. You, yes, you the lizard with the Santa cap. Can you tell me what, if anything, resides upon the top of this structure?”
The lizard with the Santa cap is not quite a lizard – he is a gecko. His name is Sam and he is not happy about being on a Christmas tree. Not because he misses the tropical weather. And not because this tree really isn't even a tree (it’s artificial.) Sam has been upset ever since his brother made it big in the insurance business. “Are you kidding me! You want me to tell you what’s at the top of the tree. Well, I oughtta….”
“Please Mr. Lizard, there is no need to be rude. We are just trying to answer a very important question. Now please, could you tell me what rests at the top of this tree. Is it an Angel? Or perhaps a star?”
“No it ain’t no Angel. And it ain’t really a star. It’s kind of a Santa Claus in the shape of a star. Are ya happy now?”
“Yes quite. Thank you very much and Merry Christmas.”
“What did he say Mr. Penguin? Do you know what’s on the top of our Christmas Tree?”
“Yes Charles – it is not an Angel. It is a Star of Santa.”
“Hey Mr. Ripken! It’s no Angel. It’s a star.”
“Hey Bill. On top of the tree, you won’t believe it. It’s a Snow Angel with a Star.”
“Did you hear that Frank. There is an angel at the top of the tree.”
Hearing the news, Frank’s little snow heart warmed with delight.
No comments:
Post a Comment