Day Ten

Last Tuesday Chick and I went to dinner at the local Ruby Tuesday's. We frequently dine there not just be because it's relativley close to us, but because we have two favorite bartenders working there - Tara and Casey. We give them a big tip and they have our drinks sitting on the bar before we sit down. The big tips also usually provides me with a bottomless draft beer. On this particular night, Tara filled my mug three times before Chick and I headed for home. As we got into the car I asked Chick if she'd stop on the corner so I could pick up some beer. "Didn't I just bring you home like an 18 pack a few days ago?"
"Yeah, but that was Friday," I replied as innocently as possible.
"You drank 18 beers in three days?" she asked calmly.
"That's only six a day. It was the weekend!"

The next morning on the way to work, I almost made the holy promise of never drinking again. On top of the three, 16 ounce drafts I had at Ruby's, I added five more tallboys sitting at home playing on the computer. I can vaguely remember asking myself if I really needed that fifth one at 11:37 at night. Obviously I answered in the affirmative. It was during that fuzzy drive to work that I realized I was drinking way too much. So I formulated a plan.

I have been drinking, rather heavily, for about 15 years. That includes 5 years of college when weekends began on Tuesday. For a few years after college during the summer we would go to the ballpark at least three or four times and week and consume at least three or four large beers. The last few years I feel like I've cut down on my drinking quite a bit, but I'm sure there are others who would disagree. I certainly wouldn't say I have a drinking problem - I don't wake up and want a shot of tequila and I don't sneak sips of bourbon during work. I just like having some beers at night. Every night. But now that's changing.

My plan is to stop drinking for 15 days. That may not seem like much, but I haven't gone 15 days without drinking since I had Mono in college. I think that was 1994. So I figure that if I can make it 15 days, I'm doing pretty good. But the plan doesn't stop there. I need to learn to control my drinking. Having a couple of beers at dinner with my wife should be no big deal. Drinking another 80 ounces while sitting alone playing on the computer is just silly. I don't know exactly how I'll react to the next drink but I believe I have enough will power, and common sense, to realize when I've had enough.

A few weeks ago Chick andI had a discussion about smoking cigarettes. There has been a commercial airing recently with a young girl talking about how she plans out her next cigarette. Knowing that I had smoked for a number years, Chick asked if that was true. "Absolutely." I remember constantly thinking about where my pack of cigarettes was and how many I had left and when would I have another one and did I have my lighter on me or could I bum a light off of someone and did I have enough to get me through the night and who was I going to be with that I could bum a smoke off of in case I ran out and what restaurant was best suited for smoking. The addiction wasn't just the nicotine - it was the constant mental game of soothing that addiction. I have since realized that in recent times I thought of beer in much the same way. Driving home at night I would think about how many beers were in the fridge and what kind are they and are there any extras downstairs and do I have any pop to make a mixed drink in case I ran out of beer and so on and so on. Perhaps I have a bigger problem than I realized. But I kicked the cigarettes so I should be able to handle the alcohol.

While forming the plan I went through a calendar of events in my head. Thanksgiving would be 16 days away - perfect. I can treat myself on a Holiday made for drinking beer. (You know damn well the Indians were trying to take advantage of the young female pilgrims by getting them drunk. I'm sure the Pilgrim men were thinking the same things about the Indian babes. Have you seen Pocahontas?) Anyway, Thanksgiving would be a good marker. But before then I would I have some difficult obstacles. I've already passed one this Sunday by sitting in bar with a number of friends watching football. I admit that I really wanted a beer, but I abstained. The next hoop to jump through will occur tomorrow - a Thanksgiving Dinner with all of my friends. In the past this particular party has been a real drunkfest. If I can make it through the day I'm on easy street.

The final part of the plan involves money. I have absolutely no way of determining how much money I have spent on alcohol in my life. The best I can do is to guess what kind of a spending pace I've been on recently. Given the fact that I usually drink a few beers at least five out of every seven days and more on weekends I guess that I have been spending about 50 bucks a week on alcohol. Quick math - about $200 a month, $2500 a year. DAMN! That's a lot of money. So as a part of the plan, every day I don't drink I put two dollars in my Scooby Doo bank. And then, every five days I spend ten bucks on baseball cards. That may not make sense, so hold on a minute. First of all, I would have spent much more than two dollars on beer, which is something I enjoy, but now I'm spending the money on my hobby, which is also something I enjoy. So I'm saving money by not spending as much but still providing some enjoyment for myself. Plus, by physically putting the money into the bank every night I am acknowledging that I may just have a problem and this is my way of beating it.

I'm not sure what I'll do on Thanksgiving or the day after it. I may just say 'fuck it' and finally go get a Kegerator. Hopefully I'll just have a few beers with my turkey and watch some football. And maybe after next Friday I'll put another two dollars in the bank. For now I'll just sit here on a Friday night wearing my cowboy hat and drinking a Pepsi - straight.

But I may just step outside and have a cigar.