Don't #1 - Don't have high expectations
The first rule of Vegas is one that I have tried to maintain throughout my life: low expectations. But it's especaillay difficult in Las Vegas. They give you free drinks. They give you cheap food. Thay wait on you like you're royalty. Then they show you what you could win - a car, a vacation to Monte Carlo, $10,000. Then, when you sit down to play, they take you for all you're worth.
Do #1 - Tip, Tip, Tip
There is virtually no way to control how much money you may win or lose in Vegas. But if you want people to take care of you, tip them well. The concept of tipping is an example of ideal capitalism. You want something. You give someone money for it. They give it to you. You give them more money. The next time you see that person, they drop their shorts for you. And if you tipped them enough, they'll take off their top too!
Don't #2 - Never talk about a big bet
There is an unwritten rule in baseball that when a pitcher is throwing a no-hitter, late in the game, no one talks about it. Not the radio play-by-play guy. Not the beer vendors. Not his mother. And definitely not his teammates. Often the pitcher will just sit by himslef in the dugout between innings. The same can be said for a crazy bet in Vegas. Today, a man, without a Texas accent, walked up to the roulette table and dropped a one hundred dollar bill on BLACK. I had 3 bucks on RED and I wanted to push them over but I dared not. There was no way I was going to interfere with this guy's adrenaline rush. He won, but then blew it all on EVEN.
Do #3 - See a Vegas wedding
Tonight was my second Las Vegas wedding experience. The first was my own, September 6, 1997. It was in the 'We've Only Just Begun' chapel in the Imperial Palace Hotel and Casino. My wife and I have talked about that day a few times recently. The details have been forgotten and rearranged. But the greatest thing we both enjoy about our wedding is all of the friends and family that shared the time with us.
I hope the friends who have invited me to be a part of their wedding will maintain similar long and happy memories.
Thank you D & S.
P.S. - Do & Don't quick list
Do - Place a bet on your hometown team to make it to the Superbowl
Don't - Place a bet on your hometown team's pitcher to give up ten runs
Do - See a topless show
Don't - Ask your cab driver to take you to a topless show
Do - Drink as much as you want - it's free!
Don't - Mix rum, gin, diet pepsi and sprite
Do - Enjoy the skimpy waitress uniforms
Don't - drool
Don't - Assume the waitress wants you
Don't - Suggest to your wife that shee needs that outfit
Don't - Drop a coin in any cleavage
No comments:
Post a Comment