Friday Night With Otis

Zip. Zero. Nothing.

You have to do something in order to write something. I have not done much lately. Well, there was the contest we had earlier today to see who could go the longest without putting a finger in their nose. I lost. Hank won. Mo was a distant second.

What is it about Forrest Gump that just makes you want to watch it every time you see it listed? He just busted the guys at the Watergate Hotel and got discharged from the army. But he kept the ping-pong paddle.

Remind me to take all Billy Joel off of my Ipod. It's not that I don't like him - hell, he's on my Ipod. But the Sex Pistols came on after "Italian Restaurant" and it just doesn't flow. Sure, I could take out "Anarchy in the UK" but "Jane Says" came after that and it worked.

In an attempt to rid our house of alcohol, Chick and I have been drinking Yukon Jack and cola. It's pretty good really. I've been going through all the boxes in the basement marked 'bar' that came from our last house. For those of you that may have been there, you may recall that we actually had two bars. So, we are still sorting through the carnage. I doubt we will ever finish the 18 bottles of schnapps. But the Yukon Jack is half-empty. Or half-full, depending on your point of view.

By the way, we really are not trying to rid our house of alcohol. We're just trying to clean up the basement.

After the Yukon Jack it's on to the 151. Ouch! It's going to be a long December and that's not just the Counting Crows song I'm hearing right now.

Is Lt. Dan an idiot an asshole or a CSI detective? And why in the hell would someone want to shoot Gerald Ford? Lincoln, okay. Kennedy, fine. Reagan, sure. But Gerry?

No wonder Betty drank.

I wonder if she liked Yukon Jack and cola?

Wide World of Sports

The world of sports is way overrated. I feel like I have done nothing but write about baseball and football for the last three weeks. Actually, that's not true. I have included some golf, tennis and soccer in recent articles. Of course, golf really is not a sport. But you know that already.

The thing about writing is that you must do it every day. And on some level I do. I just wish I wrote more in this Garden. The other Blogs I deal with are fun, but none are as important to me as this one. I don't really know why, other than this is where my mind goes. And my heart. And my soul.

Still, I am only pausing from my weekly football preview to create this entry. When I am done with that I'll write a baseball article for Sunday morning and then another football piece for Sunday night. Yes, that's way too much.

The thing about sports is that it is becoming as corrupt as politics. This week the Patriots got busted for spying on their opponents. Sure, it only takes a little heat away from Senator Craig and his bathroom antics, but it is still pretty screwed up. Okay, so a professional wrestler went whacko and killed his family. And an NBA referee fixed a few games. And the new home run king may have taken steroids without knowing it. And a few french ice skating judges were on the take. Wait - ice skating is no more of a sport than golf - skip that. Fine, how about race car drivers finishing races after they have been disqualified? I'm not sure who did that, but I saw something about it on ESPN a few weeks ago. The point is, sports are corrupt as politics.

And I didn't even mention Michael Vick.

So now I will. What a horrible excuse for a human being. Don't believe that he has remorse for what he has done. He has been involved in dog fighting since he graduated from college. For him to say he merely made a mistake in judgement is an insult to our social intellegence. Of course we also thought Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. So, maybe we are to blame. We believe our sports heroes are great because they run for a bunch of yards. We think our politicians are great because they run a great campaign.

Well, that's enough for politics in the Garden.

Next week it's all about Scooby Doo.