Monday, September 18, 2006

N-32

Every Sunday, for as long as I can remember, my grandma would play bingo in a church basement. I can't tell you whether or not she even went to mass that day - but I know she went to bingo. Of course it was more of social rite than a gambling risk, but she still had to put down some cash for the cards and she could win prizes. The only thing that kept the game legal according to the laws of our government is that the proceeds went to a non-profit organization. (Yeah, the Catholic Church is non-profit - my fat ass. But that's a different blog.)

I wonder what grandma would say if she knew I had friends betting on when I would publish my next blog? Something tells me she'd be more confused than Porky Pig calling a 6-card cover-all.

I have discussed gambling in previous installments of the Dandelion Garden. I see absolutely no problem with putting down your hard earned cash on a game of your choosing. Or in my case, my wife's hard earned cash. As a matter of fact I am watching a football game right now that I have a few bets on. Not only do I want the Jaguars to beat the Steelers I hope both teams score more than 37 points combined.

Before I forget I need to mention the gameshow LINGO. It is a very, very simple game in which two players have to guess a five letter word after being given the first letter. You get five chances and they let you know if letters of your guesses are in the final word or not. I find it relaxing and aggravating at the same time. It's relaxing in that I can nail the words fairly quickly. It's aggravating because the people on the show are so goddamn stupid. The other day this team had one more guess at a word that they knew began with 'A' and had an 'E' and a 'T' in it. There guess was 'ACORN'. ACORN! You have an A an E and a T and you guess ACORN?!?! Idiots.

Texas Hold'em and Fantasy Football have become mainstays in our society. Both border on the issue of gambling but they do require a certain amount of skill. Just how much skill is definitely questionable. In poker you can have great skill in raising and bluffing and trying to read your opponents, but if the guy you're up against has better cards - you lose. The same goes in fantasy sports. Your team can do great on any given Sunday but if the team you play against scores just one more point, you lose. It's a lot like the reason why golf isn't a sport. As long as Tiger is playing it doesn't matter what everyone else shoots. Just ask Vijay.

By the way, Europe is currently a slim favorite to win this week's Ryder Cup.

Friday, September 15, 2006

I miss the garden

I really got pissed at myself this evening. I was sitting outside on the front porch - stoop was always a better word but no one really has a stoop anymore. I had a little time to myself as Chick and Mo ran some errands and Hank was sleeping. So I planted some mums that I had been meaning to do for a while. And in the process, I spilt some dirt on my open can of beer. Mulch does not taste good but I did my best to remove the dirt. And I moved the beer next to the baby monitor.

I need to spend more time in the Garden.

Once again, I have little explanation for the lack of work in the Dandelion Garden. Sure, I now have two kids to take care of everyday. And I have been writing about both baseball and football for GetSportsinfo. Of course there are all those wonderful shows on TV that take up my time. (We still don't watch Little Bear and Dora is really fucking annoying.) I can only say that I wish I wrote a lot more of this crap whether any of you read it or not. So, once again, I'm going to make more of an effort in the near future.

Before I go any further, it must be pointed out that Voodoo Chile by Stevie Ray Vaughn may be the best song ever.

Chick mowed the lawn tonight. That's right she has a high-level job, gives birth once a year and now mows the lawn. Actually she always enjoyed mowing. I never touched a lawn mower until we moved into this house. As a teenager she used to mow lawns for spending money. Now it's good exercise - gets the cardio going. I'm perfectly willing to tak care of the yard but I'm kind of riding this whole 'I stay at home with two kids' thing. I don't think she realizes how easy it is. I only run into problems when the dogs bark at the mailman and wake me from the afternoon nap. I actually try to mess up the house around 5:30 just so she thinks I have had a crazy day and we can go to BW3's. It helps to leave diapers piled up around the door.

September is the best month of the year (sorry October.) There's baseball and football and sweatshirts and jeans and crisp mornings and cool evenings. The sun stays around long enough to enjoy the day and the moon turns from white to orange. Music from high school bands can be heard from miles away and the air begins to smell like autumn. September is nice.

And it's even nicer when spent in the Dandelion Garden.